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Yikes.

There are some VERY nosey people on here that are offended by some things on here - so I'm going to go private :)

5 day check-up!

Caden had his 5 day old doctor's appointment today!

We gave him his first bath this morning, well sponge bath. He hated it! He slept so soundly last night and gave us tons of sleep. We got to the doctor, and he was so asleep but I knew he wanted to eat!

Weight & Height: 6lbs 12oz! 19 inches.

Sleeping: At night, he wakes up every 3 hours. I don't mind getting up with him at all, Tyler helps me a lot and lets me sleep for a few feeds/changes, so it works out well.

Eating: Every 3 hours, today his biggest feed was 3oz!

Clothes: Size newborn. Carter's fits him pretty well, but all other brands are still too big. Target brand is huge on him!

I adore him. He's so perfect! Being a mommy is the best thing in the entire world :)

Caden Lawrence's Birth Story!

I was leaking some fluid but had no pain all day. Around 1AM, we went to bed and at 2:30ish, I woke up feeling a pop. I was a tad wet, but nothing too bad. I went to the toilet and had a big gush, followed by a little gush after I stood up. I went and told Tyler I think my water had broken. He sat straight up and said, "REALLY?!" so I called the doctor and we made our way to the hospital!

We got to triage around 3AM, and I was 2CM dilated still. My cervix was very high, so checking me took a few minutes and was very painful. We were brought into L&D around 3:30 and I was set up with my IV of fluids and antibiotics. I was feeling no pain yet. I decided I wanted to get up and walk around then I got onto the birthing ball for about an hour. She checked me around 5AM and I was 4CMs. I started feeling things then, but the ball really helped. I stayed on the ball until she wanted to do my next round of antibiotics.

I was exhausted because I didn't sleep during the night, so I was going on being up 24 hours so the nurse recommended Nubain. It made me feel drunk! It gave me some good sleep, but of course - soon as I got the Nubain, all different doctors wanted to come chat and I couldn't tell you what we talked about.The nurse came and checked me again and said I was still 4CM so she wanted to start Pitocin. I did awful with it because Nubain made me so much more exhausted and with the pain I wasn't able to sleep. I got the epidural around 12, and it was the best choice! During pregnancy, I was nervous about the epidural, but I knew it was a great choice so I could get some sleep before we had to push. Tyler wasn't aloud in the room, so my nurse held me while they did what they needed to do. I felt a bit uncomfortable feeling the catheter go in, but it was heaven after that! Tyler came in to see how I was doing, and I fell right asleep.

The Pitocin did the trick, she checked me around 1:30 and I was 10CM! I was shocked. Tyler ran out to the waiting room to let everyone know. We got ready to push and they asked Tyler to hold my leg. Tyler was getting a little squeemish so my mom took over, which I think was all nerves, so he stood by my head wiping me with a wash cloth while we pushed. After pushing about an hour, his heart rate started to rise. Things started getting hectic because there was discuss or a vacuum birth or c-section if he didn't come out soon. I was falling asleep between pushes and they had me on oxygen to see if that would get his heart back to normal. I was stressed, exhausted, and nervous but that was all the motivation I needed to focus on getting him out. I got him down and he was crowning when they called in the doctor. The doctor was with another patient birthing her baby, and that was the worst thing you could have told me. I started to cry and because the pressure was awful and they were demanding me not to push...get real! They had me do little pushes while she was getting ready, and that really helped. Not a minute later did the doctor sit down that he started coming out. My mom held my leg, Tyler was by my head. I could feel him start to come out when I heard Tyler sobbing telling me that he was right there. One push later, and Caden came into this world at 2:43PM! They let me hold him for a minute, then took him to the warmer where he got all cleaned up and got a good heartbeat going!

Daddy stood by his side the entire time. My mom stayed with me, but would walk over to look at Caden every so often. She gets very sqeemish too, so she didn't want to see anything down there while I was giving the cord blood taken and stitched up. We all guessed he was in the high 7lb - low 8lb range but to our surprise Caden was 7lbs 1oz. They brought him over to me for skin-to-skin and that was the best moment of my entire life. No pain, stitches, or fear could have hindered how precious he was.

He is the best thing in this world. I love him to death. I knew I'd love him, but this love is unimaginable. He is so perfect, and tiny. I just stare at him and fall more in love. He's just 3 days old, and already I can't picture life without him. Tyler is doing amazing. I thought he would be great, but he's just amazing. I'm so happy!

I'm going to post pictures soon :)

Ok...it's hitting me!

It's officially hitting me that either tomorrow is my last pregnant day, or these are my last few days pregnant!

Physically: I'm sore. I'm 38 weeks pregnant, so that's expected. His head is very low, so my pelvis is killing me. My hips kill me when I wake up every few minutes. I don't remember how it feels to be size 0, and I don't remember how it feels to not be pregnant!

Emotionally: Mainly, anxious and excited! I can't wait to meet him, I can't wait to see what he looks like, and I'm most excited for our first night home when we can snuggle in bed as a family! I'm still nervous, I'm nervous about being induced, possibility of a c-section, and with my complications, I'm nervous for him and how he is doing in there.

Dad's emotions: He's anxious! He's very excited. At Target today, he picked out the cutest onsies and kept asking, "So, he can wear that when we visit my work." He bought a cute book and asked if that can be one of the first books we read to him. He won't admit he's nervous for me and Caden because he doesn't want to worry me, but he is. He's constantly texting while he's at work asking how I'm feeling, etc.

I can't believe I will be a mommy in the next few days. It's so amazing and surreal. I can't wait to see what he looks like and finally have him in my arms. I can't wait to see Tyler hold him for the first time. I'm so excited to put him in all his brand new little clothes. Mostly, I can't wait to have him safe in my arms!

38 weeks!

38 weeks and possibly my last day pregnant.

Tomorrow at 9:30AM, we have an OB appointment and if my BP is still high (as if it's ever been normal throughout pregnancy) - she may induce! Enjoying my last day of pregnancy because this could be my last day of pregnancy, or trying to at least. I feel super hot, sore, and anxious. I'm cleaning and organizing like crazy in case he does come tomorrow/Thursday.

Tyler's coming home in about an hour, we're going to Target and he's making me any kind of dinner and dessert I wish :) Enjoying this because after he's here - no more luxury of eating whatever I'd like!

Come out, come out....but I know where you are!

I've been having contractions all day, since about 5:30 this morning. They've progressively gotten worse, but still no even time gap. I know they're "real" because my Braxton Hicks always stopped with water. As of Friday, I was 2cm and 80%, and at the hospital the monitor showed constant contractions.

So, we're going to Wal-Mart to walk and grab some last minute things. I'm trying to get myself to go into labor before I have to see the doctor sometime this week, I call tomorrow to see when she wants me in...hopefully not tomorrow! I'm certain that if my BP is high, she will induce me.

C'mon out :)

Our hospital scare!

Yesterday at 3:45, I had an OB appointment. Things started normal, high BP (but the highest it's been) 1 lb. weight gain, baby's HR sounded good, and we were measuring good! Doctor came in and said my BP is bad, so we'll check again in a little bit (normal, as always) and she checked my cervix to discover I was 2cm and 80% effaced!

The nurse came in to check my BP after sitting for a few minutes, and the BP was still very high. I don't remember the top number, but it was ?/102. They tried a few more times, still high. The nurse went to go talk to the doctor, and I told Tyler that they were probably going to send us to labor and delivery.

Doctor came back in and said what I thought, go up to L&D and they're going to monitor the baby, me, my BP, and if the HR doesn't come down, we'll be delivering the baby. She said, "So...maybe I will see you next week, or maybe next time I see you, we'll be having a baby!". I was stunned!

So, we went to get our bags and I packed some snacks because I knew we'd be there for awhile. Called our parents, stopped at his work to let them know that he couldn't make it in tomorrow (well, now today) and that this could possibly be it!

We got to the hospital, they hooked the baby up to the monitor, a BP cuff, and a monitor to see if I was contracting. Our parents arrived a few minutes later. We watched TV, ate snacks, and just waited to see what was going to happen. They came in to tell me I was contracting frequently, and asked if I could feel them...but I couldn't. She also said baby looked perfect, so they took me off the monitors.

The tech came in to draw blood around 7:30. My arm was super sore after, and typically (out of the 30 times they've taken blood during this pregnancy!) never gets sore. I have a giant bruise! But, anyways they told me they probably could send me home after they talked to the doctor and that I'd have to collect my urine over 24 hours. We went home around 10:30, the blood work came back good, and my BP went down.

Now, just a waiting game to see when this guy is going to come!

37 Weeks Pregnant!

Technically, "full-term"! Wow, I can't believe it.

I feel pretty good, sleeping is much a challenge. I'm starting to get anxious and wondering everyday, is today going to be the day!? I woke up with 2 strong contractions last night, but I fell right back asleep so they were nothing.

But...my current obsession: ICE!

My "How To's" of Survivng Pregnancy!

My best friend, who I literally tell everything and more to, said to me, "I sometimes forget your pregnant because you're so damn calm about it!" and it made me wonder, how the hell did I get through these past 9 months?!

I'm not saying or assuming that I "know" everything there is to know about pregnancy, or the rights and wrongs of it, because I don't, nor does anyone else - but these are my "how to's" and how I got through it!

1. Having a trusted friend to talk to.
 Mine was my best friend, Monica. It was awesome to have someone completely removed from the situation to talk to about everything. Someone who it didn't matter to whether I breast of bottle fed, or someone who didn't care what type of diapers I use, just someone who was there to listen. Someone who was there to say, look - you're doing an awesome job. Sure, my boyfriend did and does that - but he is effected by all of this, and is an active role in all that I do in this pregnancy that it DID matter to him what choices I made, but having an amazing friend who was removed from it all, and saw it differently helped so much.

2. Having a trusted been-there-done-that Mom.
 Main thing is trusted. There are so many mom's out there who think they know the rights and wrongs of pregnancy, and think that their way is the best way because of all the research and all the parenting they did - but truth of it all, nobody knows what the hell their doing. But, having a trusted mom there to tell you that it IS manageable to be a good mother, good spouse, and take a shower all in one day...maybe not everyday, but it happens! It's nice to look up to a mom that has done it and say, wow they did an amazing job despite the fact that it's hard as hell...they did it! My mother (well, my father also but he didn't physical birth any children) has been such an amazing support in my life and through this pregnancy. She naturally birthed her children, raised us amazingly, and is still doing such a great job.

3. Unisom and B6!
 I don't know what I would have done those first 16 weeks without those two magical little pills. Morning...well, make that all day sickness was awful. I know I got lucky with those two things working because they don't work for everyone - but they sure as hell worked for me!

4. Sweatpants.
 Oh my large pile of sweatpants. My lifesavers. Sweatpants are giving, they don't care how big your belly is, they still come up over your ass and under your belly AND manage to make you feel pretty comfy too - what's better than that?

5. Someone to remind you that you still are beautiful.
 Stereotypically, there's nothing beautiful about a large belly, swollen ankles, and stretch marks but having someone assure you that they still think the sun shines out of your ass, is amazing. As much as it's hard to look in the mirror and say, "Wow, my overly huge boobs that won't stay in a shirt to save my life look GREAT today!" - having another person let you know that you look beautiful, is the best thing to hear. Daily changes that are uncontrollable can be so hard to accept, as much as the reward that comes out of it all is the best thing, they are hard to accept. But my butterflies still came every time Tyler let me know that I looked beautiful in my sweats, unshowered, with a pony tail!

6. Warm showers.
 We know...we know...hot showers BIG no-no, but warm ones do the trick! I hate baths, so warm showers are the best thing to me!

7. Satisfying your cravings.
 I haven't had anything too weird, just normal things like orange juice or ice cream but having that craving satisfied is pure heaven! You're creating a human for goodness sake, you deserve all the horrible fatty, high calorie food in the world.

8. Taking things as they come, and not a minute faster.
 Changes during pregnancy are almost constant. Whether that's physical, emotional, or accepting the change of lifestyle - they are constant. One problem at a time, one issue at a time. Tomorrow's problems are for tomorrow, and not any sooner.

9. Last but not least, enjoying your pregnancy.
 Oh yes, the morning sickness, aching back, sleepless nights, and constant hunger are all fun...right? Of course not. But, you're creating a human. You're doing something not every woman is lucky and blessed enough to do. Enjoy it. Enjoy feeling your baby move, because it's a reminder that he or she is thriving and doing well.

As my pregnancy is almost over, I don't know where time has gone. I don't know how I did it this easily, and I sure as hell don't know what's next, but for now what I do know, is that I am blessed to be having this baby, to have such a loving guy next to me, and to have such an amazing group of friends and family supporting and loving me all the way. All the rest, doesn't matter :)

And we have the perfect nursery!

His bedroom is finally complete! Well..almost. I just want to put either his name, or buy the matching animal picutres for above his changing table, and add a small light green rug in front of it also and we will be offically complete!

It's so perfect, and I can't believe that my SON is going to be in there in a few short weeks! I'm so thankful for my mom and Tyler for all the help perfecting it, thankfully since I'm not too mobile. It's so cozy and warm, and better than I pictured it.

OH baby!

You'll be here soon, I'm betting within a week to two weeks, obvious signs are pointing that way!

New clothes, woo!

Me and my mom went shopping today for some new clothes for after he's born! I wanted to get cute sweatpants, tops, hoodies, new bras, etc. so I could still be comfy, but not look scummy because of all the visitors. I got some super cute black pants, and a few colorful tops. I also got some new bras, woo! Slippers for the hospital that match the robe my Mom got me for the hospital - so exciting! My mom also bought me a really cute hospital bag!

Tomorrow Tyler's taking me shopping for some more clothes for after he's here - I want to get more cute sweats, hoodies, and sports bras. Tomorrow we also have our 36 week doctor appointment, and I'm very excited he's able to come with me. Then we're going to shop, lunch, and the Auto Show (I'm secretly excited to see all the new cars for 2011/2012, but I can't let him know that)!

Mmmm, enjoy the last few weeks not on a diet!

Soon as I have Caden, I'm starting Weight Watchers and soon as I get the "ok" from my OB, I'll be working out and/or doing a work out class. My mom is already asking when she can babysit, so Tyler are I will be taking her up on her offer and using her a few times a week for about an hour to go to the gym and get ourselves back in shape! I'm really excited, not only because I'll be back to normal size but because we're doing this together.

As for now, I'm enjoying eating what I want! I eat very well, but I do enjoy crappy foods from time to time and don't think twice!

OMG, it's March & I'm 36 weeks!

Where did time go?! Someone tell me! I just took a pregnancy test yesterday, I found out he was a boy an hour ago, what is going on here!?

I can't believe that I can say I'm having a baby this month! Last night, around 3AM I woke up to use the bathroom, and I walked into Caden's room, and just took it all in and it offically hit me - I'm having a son this month! I got super giddy and woke Tyler up to tell him how excited I am to have a baby! He rolled over and said "Me too, babe. It's going to be great"...I'm sure he doesn't remember that this morning, but hey!

I'm feeling great. Besides sleeping, of course. Tossing and turning, hips hurting, peeing every 2 hours, oh what is sleep? But that's ok, I won't be seeing much of this so called "sleep" much anymore, anyways!

I have a feeling that Caden will be here before March 29th, obvious signs are pointing toward that. Doctor appointment Thursday, hopefully she'll check me and let me know if anything is going on!

We have organization!

After the baby shower, I felt so overwhelmed with everything we got! We got SO much, and we already had tons from before the shower with all the gifts we received. I kept telling myself I would put it away, and it was driving me crazy not doing it since I'm already a clean freak, add nesting to it...sheesh!

But, we made progress :) Tyler put in a fancy new shower head, that a part of the shower head comes off where it will be easier to give Caden baths (and is working out where showering is much easier for me too!). On our diaper cake, there was adorable little crab, fishy, etc. bath toys on it so we found a matching bath toy holder and put it up in the shower - although it will be a bit before he'll care, it's still exciting!

We would have known folding tiny baby clothes would be such an art!? My mom helped me put it all away and organize yesterday, and we figured out the best and easiest way to put it all away. Now just to organize his changing table, pack my bag, and we're DONE!

(Crappy quality still, my camera is dead)

"The Show Goes On"

About 3 weeks ago, my 14th year old cousin, Ben was in a horrible accident. He was in school and was choked by one of his friends, causing him to have a seizure, drop to the ground, and break his skull.

Hours after being admitted to the hospital, they were draining his brain of blood and told everyone that it doesn't look promising for him. My Dad rushed up to Buffalo to be with them. But, as days went by, he was awake, then he was trying to speak to my Dad, but words couldn't be made out. But as the day went on, he was able to speak...then he was walking!

Now he has 2 metal plates in his skull, and is getting better and better each day.

The song, "The Show Goes On" by Lupe Fiasco reminds me of him.

"All right, already
The show goes on
All night 'til the morning
We dream so long
Anybody ever wonder
When they would see the sun go
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on..."

You're a fighter, Ben!

Realizations.

I love my life, and every single part of it. I can't say I would change one part. I'm realizing that more and more everyday.

I realize how lucky I am with...

Tyler. It's not every woman that can find a man who loves her unconditionally, and solely her, unconditionally. I'm so thankful that I was one of those woman to find someone who does. He's incredibly selfless, and it is such an amazing trait.

When I met Tyler, I had no idea he had such bad family issues. His dad has never taken care of his mother, never been her supporter, and surely never helped her through all the hardships parenting, and life itself offers. He never showed his children real compassion and love, and thinks that he can only do so by providing his children with money, gifts, etc. Typically, you would think Tyler would learn how to be a man from his father, and think that's how woman should be treated. But, he is the total opposite. His father was never there for him, or his siblings. He lives 3 hours away (despite the fact that he is married to his wife), and leaves his mother to parent their younger children alone, because he chooses to work and live so far. I know it pains Tyler to see his mother do it alone because of his selfish father, who is living a different life elsewhere because that's what he chooses to do.

I'm so thankful that I found someone who saw the horrible side of a man, and dedicated himself to never be that to me, or most importantly, his children. I know our son isn't here yet, but his dedication and commitment to Caden already shows me his true love. He is constantly making sure I'm feeling not only good, but great. He is making sure that if he can't make a doctor appointment, that he knows every detail as if he were there. He is making sure our son has all he needs, and more. And most importantly, he is making sure that our son will always know he is loved. He tells me all the time he never wants to be like his father. He tells me that he is so thankful for my parents, because they offer him a loving and supporting pair. It means the world to me that he is excited about being a father.

He tells me I'm beautiful everyday. He comes home after a hard days of work and school asking what he can do to give me a break from cleaning, and preparing for our son. He finds ways to still surprise me with gifts. He is the exact man I always wanted to fall in love with, and I am so blessed to have him.

My family. My family are the best people I know. My parents have been together since they were 13, have been friends since kindergarten, had their first child (my brother) at 16, and were married at 21. They have been together 23 years, and are still in love. Some people fall out of love after so long, and the marriage becomes dull and boring. I can see it in my parents that it isn't that way. They are the happiest people I know. They go on dates, vacations, concerts, etc. and don't settle for "we've been married forever, it just fades". They show me that true love does exist, and you CAN be in love forever. They show me there is a perfect person out there, and you don't have to settle for just anyone. I aspire to have their marriage and love in one year, as well as thirty years. They taught me to never let your relationship wither away because you just "don't have time" or "you're busy with kids" or "you've been together so long, you just know you love each other, so why bother".

When Tyler and I told them we were pregnant, they were excited for us. They have been amazing parents. I have loved and cherished them every single day of my life, that I hope to be as good of parents as them, but if I'm only half as good, I will still be amazing.

Tyler loves my parents like his own. He calls my parents for advice and support. He looks up to them as parents, a couple, and individuals, and as do I.

My parents have given me and my brother the best life there is. We are incredibly close, and I wouldn't trade that for the world.

Our baby shower!

Our baby shower couldn't have went more perfect! I had my reservations before the shower, about how many people were coming, accepting gifts from people I didn't know well, the food, etc. but needless to say, it was perfect.

Around 35 people showed up, and it was totally a full house! But, the decorations all were so cute. I got to Tyler's mom's with my mom around 12:30, and we decorated, finished getting together the food and setting up. Tyler was there waiting for his brother so they could meet all the guys at BW3s. He got me a beautiful light blue, white, and yellow bouquet with a "It's a Boy" balloon!

The day flew by! Everyone seemed to have a great time, it was fun, relaxing, and exciting! It made things set in a little bit more, I couldn't believe that I was at my baby shower...

We got SO many amazing gifts. His closet is literally packed, and his dresser is just as packed. We got so many diapers, towels, toys, etc. we have all our things we need for our little guy. We were also lucky to get gift cards and money, so we finished up our shopping on Thursday and it was a lot of fun to pick out what we wanted, without spending our own money. I had a blast!

We are so blessed to have such an amazing family who loves and cares for us so much, but not only us, our son. I see the love around us everyday, but the shower truly showed me how loved our son already is. I can't believe that he is going to be here soon soon, and I literally can't wait to hold my tiny little boy :)

Allow me to catch up, it's been a crazy past week!

A few things I need to catch up on:

• My birthday
• My baby shower
• Caden's room is *almost* all done!

I'll catch up :)

YAY

No pre-eclampsia :) Wonderful news! They're closely monitoring me with doctor visits 2 times a week, but my BP is back down to normal - phew.

It's a very busy weekend. Tonight, we're going to dinner for Papa's birthday, and there's lot of stuff we need to get ready for the baby shower. Tomorrow, we have our hospital tour, and my birthday dinner at P.F. Changs...mmm! Sunday is the baby shower, and my birthday! Yay :)

I can't believe how quickly time is flying and that this weekend is my baby shower, oh wow. Almost March, and that means almost Caden!

Praying for no pre-eclampsia

Today at the doctor, my blood pressure was 150/94, and they found some protein in the urine sample. They sent me for some blood work, and I will get the results tomorrow. Hoping and praying it's not pre-eclampsia because that ontop of Step B is no fun. I'm doing the glucose test Friday and that BETTER come back negative. Caden, just come safe - that's all I want :)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! Baby's "first" Valentine's. He was treated with some very yummy food! Tyler worked and had school, so we only have a few hours together in the middle of the two until he gets home at midnight, so I surprised him with this yummy lunch :)

I gave him a frame last year, with a picture of us in it. So, this year I did the same with a picture of the two of us from our maternity session. I'm going to make it a tradition every year to give a picture of us (well, next year us and Caden!) so over the years it will be fun to see how things change, and have it be a fun tradition. Also, last year I made heart pizza too :) Looks like we have a Valentine's Day tradition!

Sadly, my camera charger broke with all the pictures of his newly painted room so I will have to wait to upload those pictures until after the charger comes!







Starting the baby shower centerpieces!

They aren't decorated yet but, I love them! The colors are so pretty and they look good together :) The colors will be the "theme" of the baby shower, since the invites were the same colors, as well as the napkin wraps I ordered!

The pretty paper all cut up:

The "star" view, ballons get attached to them in the center and the balloon's string runs through the center:

And here's the part that I'll decorate, and put our maternity pictures/ultrasound pictures in:





Finally getting started!

YAY! Finally starting. Although I'm scrapbooking, and creating a memory box - those things won't be filled with the day-to-day joys that are to come, but this will hold all of them!

Tomorrow, I will be 33 weeks pregnant and time is FLYING! I can't believe how quickly things have been flying by. His room is painted, and waiting the second coat tonight. It's all becoming so real, his closet is totally full, his furniture is waiting to be set up, and there are diapers are piling up. Our baby shower is in 13 days, oh my! I'm having so much fun planning for everything for our son, I just can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I'm not just planning for this little person who steals all my food, energy, and comfort that he's going to be his own person in 7 short weeks!

I can't wait for him to be here, but at the same time I am enjoying this. I'm enjoying perfecting his little room, and our house for him, enjoying guessing what he'll look like, or how it will be to see Tyler with him for the first time. We're enjoying the last few weeks as it being "just us". We've never been more happy together, and apart, and I know our joys will be magnified by so much when Caden is actually here!

Everyone is excited to meet you Caden, but enjoy your time baking in there :)